Hi. I quote-unquote disappeared again.

If you’ve been here since my beauty content days, this will feel very familiar. “Hey guys, I’m backkkkk!” …after vanishing for a bit because life absolutely bulldozed me (or it feels that way at times, at least).

Honestly, the audacity I had thinking I could consistently blog, (maybe start) vlog, (possibly start a) podcast, create content, and exist while raising a tiny human??? Delusional. Truly. Motherhood humbles you FAST.

The last time I wrote, I was in a nice little zen era. Calm and reflective. Talking about my PCOS and Fertility Journey, part 2, catch up here. And since then? So much has happened lol.

I’ve realized something though, it’s hard enough to live in the moment, but taking a beat to reflect and actually write things down was what saved me in those early postpartum days. Writing helped me process. It grounded me. And somewhere along the way… I stopped doing that.

The truth is, I have so much I want to share. So many women (and men) I want to help. But I’m also… finding my way. This motherhood thing is HARD. It’s the biggest blessing, yes, but it also comes with exhaustion, identity shifts, and days where you’re like, “Am I okay or am I just surviving?”.

I’m not complaining…Okay maybe I am LOL. But I’ve earned the right 🫠.

Today is January 28, 2026, but a few months ago my life got rattled.

And when I say rattled, I mean literally.

Our townhome got infested with mice. Yes. MICE. Yes, plural. Yes, I’m still traumatized 😫.

They came up from the garage, behind the dishwasher and stove, in a fairly new build, but with tons of construction nearby, this is common. But let me tell you, I HATE mice. They scare the actual life out of me. So yes when this all went down there was a lot of screaming and literally not being able to breathe lol…OH the theatrics, BUT…

Ready for this?
We caught… 9.

NINE.

We were displaced for a while and ended up living with my parents. And honestly? As chaotic and unsettling as that time was (yes, it was taken care of, and an exterminator was called, and A LOT of cleaning went down lol)… it was also kind of a weird blessing in disguise.

For the first time in almost 10 months, I actually leaned on my parents for help. It’s a lot to carry mentally, physically, and emotionally. Some days I’m like, how are my husband and I doing all of this? And other days… we’re barely hanging on.

My body and mind don’t always keep up, and when that hits, it hits LOW.

Everyone talks about “the village”, but sometimes it’s just… not there. Extra eyes are helpful, but extra hands would be really nice sometimes.

Again, not complaining. Just… reality.

Present parenting is exhausting (and that’s not a bad thing)

My best friend sent me a video today that honestly hit me right in the chest. It talked about how we’re exhausted because we’re present. Because we’re parenting with intention. Because we’re actively trying to break generational cycles and trauma.

And it’s true.

I’m engaged with Ivan. I play with him. I talk to him. I’m there. And that kind of parenting takes energy. A lot of it. And as much as being present is important, it’s also important to show up for yourself. While staying with my parents, I was able to leave Ivan with my mom for an hour or two, and WOW. That alone did wonders for my mental health. I used that time to start therapy.

Yes. I started counselling. And let me tell you, it’s life-changing. I’ve always been able to check in with myself, and I feel like I have some pretty good grounding techniques and more, but I realized I had troubles processing so much from the last few years. I buried, suppressed, and powered through. But that catches up to you. And I never want that unprocessed weight to spill over onto my family, and in particular, my child.

So I reached out to Donna at State of Mind Counselling, and truly it’s been transformative. I feel heard. Validated. Supported. Soon we’ll be starting deeper grounding and processing work, and I’ll share more when I’m ready. But if you’re even thinking about therapy, this is your sign.

Self-care isn’t just face masks and coffee dates. Sometimes it’s doing the uncomfortable work so you can show up better for yourself and your family 👏🏼.

Also DRUM ROLL… Ivan turned ONE.

Just casually dropping that in. I planned a huge Indian first birthday party for him, which I originally did not want to do (negative Nancy energy). But my husband reminded me that we should celebrate how far we have come. And he was right. I’d gotten so caught up in the day-to-day survival that I forgot to pause and look back.

The birthday was honestly beautiful. Everything and more than I imagined. I leaned into a Ralph Lauren inspired “Beary First Birthday” theme, and it turned into the most elegant little soiree. I made a video of Ivan’s first year, and wow… that unlocked emotions I didn’t even realize I was holding onto.

Planning it all, the vision boards, Canva designs, vendor coordination, was a lot, but I live for that type of thing, and seeing it executed perfectly was such a proud moment. I wore a Safaa lengha and Ivan and my husband wore tuxedos, and it all came together so sweetly.

I blinked… and my baby turned one 🥹.

I made a speech that day that will forever live in my heart. One day, Ivan will look back on it and that alone makes it all worth it. GAH, I’m tearing up writing this.

And then… I turned 35.

December 31. A milestone birthday. No big celebration though, because we all got hit with that sickness that’s been circulating everywhere. We didn’t really feel better until mid January. But I’m grateful. Truly. It’s been a journey, and we’re here.

Every day looks different now. Some days feel full. Some days feel heavy. I miss writing. I miss expressing. It’s like journaling, except I’m leaving the pages open for you to read.

If this helps even one person feel seen, then it’s worth it.

You’re doing great, mama. You’re doing great, dada. Parenthood is no joke, but we’re all just figuring it out as we go. I’ve been working on my health, eating better, moving my body where I can, but when I don’t create, I feel off. And maybe this… this was what I was missing.

This year is the Year of the Horse, and we’re moving forward. I have so much I want to do, and I’m putting positive energy and intention out there!

But first, I’m going to make dinner, clean the kitchen, start the night routine…and remind myself that Bridgerton Season 4 drops tomorrow ☕️, so honestly, life is good!

Signing off for the evening and sending you all so much love and positive energy for this year. How have you all been? Leave me a comment below or connect with me on Instagram. Missed you all!

-Gurp 🫶🏼